~.:: For I am right beside you for all my life..I am yours ::.~

My teenage nephew Hafiz, had once said to his ibu, "Parents love to justify whatever actions they are doing to their children by saying it is for their (read:the kids) own good."

Well..

Come to think of it, I remember saying the same thing too when I was a teenager. But of course, I just kept the thought to myself, unlike kids nowadays who just blab abt what they feel without thinking twice whether what they're saying hurt their parents' feelings or not.

However, as a teenager, I myself wasn't that good of a daughter. I wasn't like my ever protective Kak Aton, always looking over her younger siblings. I wasn't like my Kak Tika, very fillial, I tell you. Never say No, not even once to my parents.

I, on the other hand, was what you may brand as a "Rebel". But thank Allah, I wasn't like kids nowadays, sikit2 bila merajuk dengan mak bapak, lari dari rumah. The worst that I did was talk back (which of course, is rude). But no matter how rude I was, I didn't dare raise my voice to my elderly, especially My Abah (rahimahuLlah).

I always said "No". And Whenever Mum asked me to do a certain chore, the answer would always be a "Sekejap!". Sometimes the "sekejap" would last forever, and in the end, Mum would do the chore herself (mumbling, of course).

That was ages ago.

Today, I am a mother. And today, the thought occured to me.

Yes, whatever it is that parents did for us, was - like it or not - for our own good.

These past few weeks had really put me in a stressful mood. Perhaps I need to treat myself to a well deserved spa or something after all this is over.

My daughter refused to eat.

I had to succumb into feeding her Pediasure (which is, by the way, costly, I tell you..) because I panicked when her body weight dropped drastically since she refused to eat anything, not even her favorite cheddar cheese.

Mum, Kak Aton & Kak Tika advised me to give her lempoyang (I'm sure Malay Moms know abt this traditional remedy) to help gain back her appetite. Mum even went to Geylang to buy the stuff cos her blur daughter (read : me) dinch have a clue how the thing looks like, and she herself prepared the lempoyang juice.

Why did she do that, despite that she herself is not as healthy as she used to be?

Because of love. 100% pure & unconditional love.

And me? I hardened my nerves and forced my daughter to consume the lempoyang juice 2x daily, ignoring her whines & tears. I keep telling her (out loud) and keep reminding myself that what I am doing is for her own good. I want her to gain her appetite, I don't want her to be a stick-thin, undernourished, not enough vitamins kind of toddler.

And why did I do that?

Because I love her. 100% pure, unconditional love.

I love my daughter so much. Desperately.

I love her so much that I would give up my life for her. I would do anything, just so she could grow healthy like other kids. I'd rather eat measly food, just to buy her a can of Pediasure, just so she could have enough vitamins daily.

That is a sacrifice of a mother.

Now I understand how a mother feels. It hurts me to see my sister cry when her son stormed out on her & her husband, just because of a stupid bike. I understand how she feels now, because I am a mother too, like her. I can just imagine the hurt, if Hawra were to do that to me some day. Ya Allah, jadikanlah anakku anak yang solehah, yang tidak menyakiti hati ibu bapanya, amin!

And now I know how my mom & dad felt when I opposed them. It pierced my heart like a knife, knowing that I have caused them so much hurt last time.

Mak, I am sorry for what I have done. Abah, I'm sorry for hurting you.

Parents will do whatever they can to ensure their children's happiness. They do know what is good for you. Tell me, which parents want something bad for their children? You tell me..

Promise me you'll be a good girl, ok my Darling?